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the circus (I)

"please, no schmaltz ... I'm so tired of crying and you thought I was a mermaid ... Give us something familiar, something similar to what we already know, something that makes us remain stable, stable, not to go anywhere ...

was a gray time where I wanted something stable, and really was not me ...

now smile again ... I seem to have back 16 years.

was again a day sun, I lived as I could only live it, I filled my interests, and how at that time there was room for someone else, but it was a default space, and there was no invasion and there would have been.

smile, and perhaps nothing of all: I have all my time, it's all back to me, there are no recriminations, no regrets, no remorse ... no time to everything that is not life ... and life, you know, is much more than this ...

and I came back happy, I came back to ask "what would happen if ...?", I came to ask me questions without fear the sad reality that only a wrong answer I was able to give ...

and I simply everything under control again ... everything is out of my control, because everything is out of my eye ...

are focused on me ... and I'm happy ...

we did not have the same feelings ... we are not always of one mind ... and at some point I gave up everything to get over myself ...

:)

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without regretting the consequences ...

sometimes I look at something that I belongs, and I wonder what will be its end ... as I belong to that object, if you ever lose, if you destroy in a moment of distraction ...

yesterday I realized that my nature is inherently fatalistic ... I think what surrounds me like that already has a destiny, unreachable from certain points of view ...

as people seem to have an agency that goes beyond the mere fatalism ... and meanwhile the child returned to ask "what will become of them?"

sometimes do what I think looks more like a mental exercise, un'autopersuasione failed to stress once more floating in the theories ...

a dear friend of mine used to say "everything that happens is the best that can happen to you" ...

yesterday and I have a moment stop to think why I have not done anything serious, nothing to say that I'm never coming back, that nothing will ever be ...

some things never end, some say ... some things must end, but they need their own time, I say ...

and the time is not ripe yet ...

:)

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Portrait of a Lady

I started something new ... but I guess it does not matter ... and I stopped with something old ... but probably does not matter ... but I saw Knight shift ... without a helmet, without arms, without eyes.

to those who happen to want something undefined, undefined because you do not have the courage to verbalize my thoughts, is indefinite because they want more of a mental exercise without becoming a training ground for life, because in everyday life is not indefinite can take shape without perlatro capture banality ...

there was a time not too long ago, when I told "I'm in my element ... without anyone had understood what I meant, without bothering to share that feeling the original ...

time to read a work by Henry James titled "Portrait of a Lady" ... to those who ask (often if not always) what the story is about, I do not know what to say ... do not is a story, or rather, not simply the story is only a pretext for lofty concepts that still need a human translation ... then I assume the indefinite form without acquiring trivia ...

"Portrait of a Lady" is the common thread of self, a not so clear that I neither overbearing, but determined to spontaneous and nothing else than the realization of his own nature. is a journey from America to Europe, a journey back is climbing the mountain, not to mention that after the peak of the descent is steep and unavoidable, is an insecure approach to the art world where there is no place unrequited feelings for ... is a statement of indipedente and embryonic potential, developed and abandoned when the sun goes down.

you can read this on unlimited levels, for different people in different states d'animo...